At first, during a sexual harassment case brought against him, he denied having improper sexual misconduct with any staffer, but later when the justice system found evidence of his misconducts, he publicly admitted the affair.
The shame was all over Bill Clinton's private and public life, pressure raised over him to resign from office before being impeached for his lies. By 1998, Bill Clinton still had 2 more years in office and had two choices offered to him:
- Resign from office to protect his family and private life and live in total dismay of shame for the rest of his life, while being remembered by history as the only ' dude' who resigned from the oval office for having sex with a staffer.
OR
- Stay in office and wait for the congress to decide whether he should stay or be fired.
It is said that 'resignation' went through his mind but a close advisers told him not to. After all, having extra marital sex is a sin, it can be improper when done at work, but it is not a legal crime against the law.The question is: 'If Clinton had resigned from office , it would have been merely caused by the shame the negative publicity had brought to him. In other words, the shame would have been the only explicable reason for his resignation. History would remember him as the President who sunk in the shame of his indiscretions and resigned for it. If he had resigned, every time his face would appeared in a tabloid, his shameful indiscretion would be recalled.
Instead of resigning, he waited for the congress decision and fortunately, the majority forgave him and he remained in office. Today, his 'sexcapade' with Monica Lewinsky is just a short story most people don't remember. As we speak, Bill Clinton is a popular figure, one of the greatest american president (according to history), he's a well respected public speaker and gets paid lump sum of money for it, he runs a foundation that helps people...And Who remembers Monica Lewinsky ( do you even know her?)?
Not too many people talk about it and even better, in the next 50 years, we will have to dig hard in the history archives to recall this unpleasant episode in Clinton's life.
What can we learn from this?
'Shame has an incredible power to compel us into reactive actions that could be either be self-building or self-destructive.'
What happen when someone gets caught making a mistake? The public eye shames the person in public, as a result the ' mistake dude' decides on resigning from office, sell his company, ending his/her career, hiding on solitary confinement...
I believe that we should dissociate what 'a country or corporate law tells us to do and what personal shame tells us to do.'
If you have made a mistake, and if you should be punished according to the law or the rule you abide to ( whether in your organisation or in the country where you live), then any punishment caused by the mistake committed would be your fair share. Only if you have broken a law you abide to.
Some mistakes are not 'law-breakers', yes they can be shameful, very bad and I am not supporting them, but they do have a compelling power that lead us into certain actions of 'self-punishment'.
From the most ancient times, shame has been a weapon used by the Devil against humans. When the first man, Adam and his wife Eve, ate the forbidden fruit, they hid themselves because they were suddenly ashamed...the rest is well known history, they were chased from the garden of Eden and lost big...
'Shame' is a product of the original Fall dating back from the beginning of the world. And every time shame rises up, the Devil is lurking in a corner waiting to steal something from the ashamed person.
You don't believe me?
How many people have lost big in their lives because of shame? Plenty.
And shame manifests itself in many ways, such as :
- shame of public speaking ( in meetings, at school, at work, at a party, with friends...)
-shame of your own self appearance ( your look, your face,or poor appearance caused by poverty...)
-shame by comparison ( I am less than, she's more than me, I have less than him...)
-shame of our companies ( ashamed of hanging with a family member, ashamed of of your friend..)
-shame of self ( I am not good enough...)
- shame of your belongings ( I live in a poor area, I can't invite friends at home because of my poor house...)
-shame by competition ( I am ashamed to hang out with so and so because I feel inferior, only when I reach their levels shall I be worthy to hang with them...)
-shame of asking ( what will they think of me if I ask for help?...)
-shame of your current health ( a disease considered as highly prejudicial...)
-shame of dreams ( what are they gonna think if I pursue this dream, I rather not start it...)
And there is much more...
Let's finish this post with two clear questions:
What will happen to you, if you make a mistake that breaks the rules you abide to (in your country , corporation)?
-Eventually, you will get fairly punished for it.You should only get punished for the rule you broke. (That's my opinion)
What should you do if shame suddenly takes over your life, judgmental people points fingers at you all the time and it seems as if you are the new 'satan' in town for a mistake that does not break any binding judicial law?
- The shame will offer you two options:
1. Either you will take a 'self-destructive' decision such as resignation from work, solitary confinement, or self-retrenchment...
Option number one, is the Devil's playground and is a window through which he (Satan) enters our lives to steal something. Right at the very end of you turmoil, the only thing Satan wants is the very thing you will demise yourself from such as your career, your job, your legacy, your money, your family, your relationships, even your dreams...Satan is lurking...
OR
2. You can choose a self-building decision.
If the shame is caused by a mistake, you will probably get punished if you broke a law. Then what? Your next move should be self-building, because in many cases, other people's lives may depend on what you will decide. A self-building decision can also aim at fixing the roots of the shame. Some things can be fixed. Helloooo?!!!!
The only advantage that shame offers, is the self-consciousness of fixing something that needs to be repaired.
What if the shame is caused by something that is not law breaking ( such as look, appearance, personality, social status...)?
Again, in this situation, make sure you choose a 'self-building' decision to fix that and be careful not demise yourself out of shame . When you demise yourself or make yourself absent, Satan will steal something from you in your absence. Many people's lives have been destroyed in high school, at work, in relationships because of 'shame'...
Helpful biblical tips to overcome shame:
Every day and more often, exercise yourself to confess and truly believe theses verses:
I praise you because I was wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalms 139:14 )
'Do not fear,for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced or be put to shame;for you will forget the shame of your youth.. ( Isaiah 54:4)
'See I am placing on Mount Zion a cornerstone,chosen, and held in honor,and whose Faith rests on Him shall never have reason to feel ashamed'. (1 Peter 2:6)
'Those who trust in Me (The Lord) will not be put to shame' (Isaiah 49:23)