I am back again on my desk to share a very insightful view on personal development. A few days ago, an unfortunate event boldly reminded me of how unattractive desperation is. Yet most people confuse the state of desperation with perseverance.
When we see someone holding on to his dreams and goals at all costs, we look on, we clap for him/her, we praise his/her courage...But do we bother to analyze the costs of perseverance ? I am pretty sure that most of us have heard the traditional dictum:
'Perseverence is about never giving up! Never give up! Keep walking!'
It is true and noble to persevere but at what costs? You see my friends,the problem with continued perseverance is not about time (because you can keep your goals and dreams for as long as you can or wish), but the inconvenience is found in the costs of pursuing the dream.Before you engage yourself in the journey of your dream, ask yourself first two strategic questions:
How much does it cost to achieve your dreams?
How much are you willing to pay, to see your dream come true?
The first question relates to pure reasoning. Any human with common sense pursuing fulfillment should ask himself/herself that question. Just like the Greatest Philosopher of all time, Jesus, said: ' suppose one wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?' (Luke 14:28)
It simply means that before you embark into a journey, make sure you have enough resources planned to finish it. In case you don't have enough and still choose to go ahead, you will fall short.
The answer to the second question will determine whether you are perseverant or desperate!
Think again. Everything has a price. And even when you receive something for free, just remember that someone other than you, paid for it.
How much are you willing to pay to : - get that promotion?
- date that guy or that girl?
- to pass the audition?
- to see that vision or dream come to fruition?
- to become rich?
You have probably heard the praise sung to those who don't give up. In my opinion, they are justified. But let's just create two short scenarios involving two fictive people: Naomi and Claudia, who are working in the company and who are both eying promotions. Now the promotion has been set to a specific cost which is:' coming on time, respecting deadlines, motivating fellow colleagues, work experience, good customer service...' So far the working women are doing their bits to pay the cost of the promotion. Unfortunately, Naomi decides to pay more than the set cost , and decides to sleep with one of the top executives in the company, on a one night stand, just to be promoted.
The goal you are trying to achieve has a preset cost. Some people ,like Naomi, want so bad to achieve the dreams, and end up paying beyond the limits: it's called desperation!
Every Dream has a cost, it does not mean that you have to sacrifice beyond your means to achieve it. That's why some people went to the length of sacrificing their loved ones to achieve a goal, it's so desperately evil!
The New Testament retraces an interesting passage where Jesus was tempted by the Devil three times...for the sake of today's post, I will only mention the third temptation: ' the Devil, also called Lucifer, took Jesus on high mountain where all the kingdoms of the world with their splendor and glory were visible. And he told Jesus: 'If you bow down before me, I will give you those kingdoms with glory, Just bow down to me'.
Jesus refused to submit to Devil's request. But He could have submitted himself if He was desperate. The proposal made by the devil was the preset will of God for Jesus. The Devil was trying to offer Him the same will through a dangerous shortcut.
Someone might say: 'But bowing down to devil could have been cheaper than dying at the cross.' It is a false idea, if Jesus had done it, He would have never gone back to Heaven, in other words: ' bowing down to the devil would have been a much higher price than the price set by God: 'The cross'.
When you want something so bad, you need to reassess yourself with those simple steps:
-How much does it cost : - to win this woman
-to get this job,
- to get forgiveness,
- to get that business deal,
- to -------(anything related to your desire)
-How much am I willing to pay? :- If you have paid above the costs, you are desperate.
- If you are willing to pay beyond the price value, you are desperate.
Are you even willing to sell your soul for success?
The big problem with desperation:
Suppose that you own a business. How would you feel if a jobless person kept on on knocking on your door twice a day, asking for a job that you don't have. Looks creepy isn't it? Even in relationships, if a person of the opposite sex came to you, and attempts by all means( and I mean all means) to be involved with you (as dating). How would you feel? How would you feel if that person shows how bad he/she wants you. Would it not be harassment? Looks awkward.
What about business negotiations? Whenever you engage yourself in a business deal ,avoid showing how bad you want the deal to materialize. Otherwise, your counterpart will impose his/her price on you, and you surely get away with less than what you deserve.
Do you understand that desperation is totally unattractive? That's why you struggle to get what you want.
Desperation offers only two things: 'Rejection (failure) and/or Abuse' If you don't get rejected when in despair, you will surely be accepted but under abusive conditions because you have proven that you have nothing to show for what you got. This principle explains domestic violence, abuse at work , business deal rip-offs , emotional and verbal abuse in relationships....
In the quest of achieving that goal, just try to calm down,place more Faith in God ,less in your exhaustive methods and relax a bit, before you even destroy the lives of your loved ones through your desperation...
Listen: ' wear your jacket and cover the despair button!' (oh,please.)
God Bless you with Hope, Faith and some Calm.
Maurice
Other post you might like: Mercury rising ( The science of Fear)