Just like many youngsters, I decided to seek advice from an older person who happened to be a church pastor. On the day we met, I explained to him in details all my troubles and worries with the intentions of finding the key that would make me start what mattered in my life. After listening to my personal issues, he said something I never forgot but did not understand then, here is what he said to me:
'Young man, the reason why you can't realize what matters to you, is because you don't know how to prioritize.'
Back then, it did little sense to my mind. I wish I really understood what he was talking about...It took me almost 8 years to realize a full understanding of his advice. And his advice was true...
You see folks, regardless of who or where you are, we all prioritize either consciously or unconsciously.
And because of that, we always achieve...all of us, we always achieve...
Let me explain myself a little slowly:
What is a priority?
There are many definitions widely spread that explain the meaning of that word. But I choose to bring a definition close to my real life experiences. For me, a priority is a set of actions that influences, dominates and consumes the major part of our time and resources.( You can tweet that). It is possible to have multiple priorities, but their importance will differ according to the amount of the time and resources they consume. In other words the priority that consumes most our time will be the greatest and so on...
If your job takes 14 hours of your day, your family time 2 hours, and your sleep 8 hours, you can easily do the math in comparison and clearly admit that your Job is your first priority, then comes your sleep and you family. It sounds crude, but it's true!
Why do I say :' we prioritize either unconsciously or consciously?'
As life goes on, we tend to have dreams and noble goals that build our purpose, our reason of living. But in a mix of circumstances, it can happen that we find ourselves doing things we did not want to do at the first place. We 'feel' compelled or forced by specific circumstances to prioritize actions we do not enjoy. Every time we prioritize under compulsion due to circumstances, while not enjoying it, we unconsciously prioritize.
A very good example is found in 'slavery':
The slave does not enjoy waking up in the morning for hard labor that pays nothing. He dreams of a free life, but his priority is into hard labor that pays nothing. Until the day he says: 'No more', he will keep the same priority.
An unconscious priority is the fruit of an unwillingness compulsion that consumes the major part of our time and resources. This is the case of people who hate their jobs but still attend to it every morning while dreaming of doing something else. Or the case of any individual who has a dream in his/her mind but constantly get surrounded by activities that matter less than his/her dreams.
In other words, in spite of being unwilling, they do it anyway under the influence of an external force. Even in that case, they are prioritizing.
On the opposite side, conscious priority is a mix of actions caused by pure willingness. Some people do exactly what they dreamed and planned to do, regardless of the outwards circumstances. They have mastered themselves, no external influence dictates their paths. They produce conscious priorities.
(Footnote: My blog only encourages its readers to choose the right priorities influenced by the right morals)
How do we make 'prioritizing' so easy?
Before responding to this question let's look into two illustrations:
First illustration:
' If you are already married in a Christian wedding or if you have attended a Christian wedding, you surely heard the priest say:
'Do you renounce to all the women in the world to remain faithful to your wife?'
Eventually the groom says : 'I do'.
Second Illustration:
'No one can serve two masters.You can't serve God and Mammon, it's either you will love one and hate the other. But you can't have both' ( Mathew 6:24)
In both those illustrations, there is a matter of choice involved . Somebody has to decide between two things but can not have both in the same time. Tricky isn't it?
In the first illustration, a man is being asked if he renounces to all the women in the world, in order to make his wife his new priority. In case he says that he can not give up on all the women, he can't get married. He won't get both...He has to cut ties from something...
In the second illustration taken from the Bible, Jesus clearly says that we can not serve two masters in the same time. We have to choose by cutting off one of them from our lives...
In both illustrations, it is clear that we all have to cut down on something if we wish to successfully prioritize.
Cutting out things from our lives to leave room for what matters always seem very difficult but here is the key to make it easy:
'If you wish to make something happen in your life, then make it a priority. A dream stuck in your head is not a priority until it turns into actions. Deciding on having priorities, does not mean the sudden absence of alternative options. For example, getting married does not mean that they will be no beautiful women or charming men in your neighborhood. You have to decide on cutting all sexual ties from other people to remain faithful to the one you chose to marry.
Becoming a father, does not mean that you won't have obligations at work. The work obligations will always be around, you have to decide where to draw the line, to consecrate time for your family.
Discovering your true life purpose in God, does not mean that there won't be suitable alternatives that will stop you from becoming who God wants you to be. On the contrary, the alternatives will always be available, you have to choose a life of purpose above the options offered to you...
How do we easily 'cut down'?
-First analyse what takes most your time, energy and resources. Even if you are not involved in any activity, you are busy doing...nothing (which turns into an activity as well)
-Just like the newly groom who renounces to all the women (who will always be available), you have to renounce to something. It might be:
* Few extra hours of work to watch your son play in his college team...
* late parties with the 'boys' to spend quality time with your wife...
*Cutting down months of work for a pregnancy...
*etc...
Choosing a priority means the 'loss of something else'. You can't have every thing at the same time. And this is where people stumble...They think they can have it all : 'long hours of passionate work, time with the kids, time to get pregnant, time to study...' That's not gonna work. If you think that way, many of your wishes will remain in your head because you are too busy. Here is my advice:
If you wish to give life to a priority, accept to lose something.
For every priority, something has to be lost.
*If you wish faithfulness, accept to lose philandering...
*If you wish for a job,accept to lose laziness...
*If you wish to succeed in your studies, accept to lose the party behaviors...
Prioritizing, means sacrificing something else.
People fail to prioritize because they don't want to lose anything, rather they want it all: the career, the babies, the love, the money, purpose, God...They want everything, all in the same time. That's not gonna work.
Choose what matters, accept to loose the useless luggage (without fighting) and cut out what matters less, because you only 24 have hours in a day and a mortal life on Earth.